Someone in my institute told me today that I haven't blogged for a long time, or at least anything of any consequence...and well, I was surprised, I didn't know anyone read this rag in the first place..it was pleasant, though....a reminder of things beyond the institute, placements, capital markets and corporate finance...Thank you mate, you know who you are....
It was a reminder of a time when I could express myself freely, without regards to consequences, when I would say fuck you to someones face and not give a bloody shit about it...the world's become slightly more complicated now, I have become entangles in myself..well, I do have 6 months to unravel myself...and now, as I feel these words and thoughts coming out of nowhere, I feel the same thing I always feel when I write, why dont i do this more often ?? Its much more therapuetic for me than I would care to admit...and its been years since I've collected my thoughts more coherently..maybe with my new wi-fi enabled phone (showing off a lil here, dont mind...its a Nokia N81-8GB), i could write more, especially during those endless lectures on business...
You know what, maybe I will...Thank you, friend..
Chaos...
Sometimes its just so out of control that you dont know what to do. Even the best intentions are laid to waste, coz there's just no point in having a good intention. Nothing ever gets done. Nothing can be imlemented. Each day drags out to another. Before you know it, its become a cycle, and not one you especially wanna get caught in. How do you get out of it all ? How much can you erase from a written page before you tear it ?
How do you get out ?
How do you get out ?
Questions...
When do things get better ? Or are they actually so bad now, that im waiting for them to improve ? Is the improvement in my hands or am I being guided externally ? How much of it can actually come from within ? Or are things actually better for me ?
Questions, questions....
Questions, questions....
Xam..
I have an exam tomorrow..I havent done much.
Is this the way I'll be tested always ? Life's gonna suck if yes. Probably not much better if No.
Do I really give a damn ?
Hell No...
Is this the way I'll be tested always ? Life's gonna suck if yes. Probably not much better if No.
Do I really give a damn ?
Hell No...
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Second of a Couple Incomplete...
Greatest of God's Creations,
Maker of Homes and Nations,
Embodiment of Grace, Love & Duty,
Woman, thy name is Duty.
From angels was thy inspiration drawn,
Not for you, displays of brawn,
Courage is thine weapon strong,
Before you can stand which wrong?
Silky, smooth flowing hair,
Darkest hair surrounding thy face so fair,
Those doe-like eyes so innocent,
In themselves, more powerful than a God's Trident.
Red, bloody-red fulsome lips,
Battles could be fought for just a kiss,
For a glimpse of that face, I could wait years,
Glistening on those pale cheeks,surely those aren' tears ?
And after this, i just couldnt go on..how do you describe a woman ? a more perfect creation rearely has God made...and i realized my "skills" are just too inadequate for describing a tenth part of them...when i see what i write, i feel like deleting it all..but then, im too much of a narcissist to do so..lol...
More Later..
Maker of Homes and Nations,
Embodiment of Grace, Love & Duty,
Woman, thy name is Duty.
From angels was thy inspiration drawn,
Not for you, displays of brawn,
Courage is thine weapon strong,
Before you can stand which wrong?
Silky, smooth flowing hair,
Darkest hair surrounding thy face so fair,
Those doe-like eyes so innocent,
In themselves, more powerful than a God's Trident.
Red, bloody-red fulsome lips,
Battles could be fought for just a kiss,
For a glimpse of that face, I could wait years,
Glistening on those pale cheeks,surely those aren' tears ?
And after this, i just couldnt go on..how do you describe a woman ? a more perfect creation rearely has God made...and i realized my "skills" are just too inadequate for describing a tenth part of them...when i see what i write, i feel like deleting it all..but then, im too much of a narcissist to do so..lol...
More Later..
One of a Couple Incomplete..
Skin so fair it'd leave you blind,
Timely hints leaving me in a bind,
Do I chase her or let her go,
When things are in such an even flow ?
The distance between us is of a million sighs,
Days could I spend in those clear grey eyes,
Long fingers, Nimble hands,
Who else has your carefree stance ?
Not your sole admirer am I,
For your attentions do many vie,
Give me a smile, just give me a sign,
Things between us will turn out fine...
And then i just lost interest.....one more coming soon...
Timely hints leaving me in a bind,
Do I chase her or let her go,
When things are in such an even flow ?
The distance between us is of a million sighs,
Days could I spend in those clear grey eyes,
Long fingers, Nimble hands,
Who else has your carefree stance ?
Not your sole admirer am I,
For your attentions do many vie,
Give me a smile, just give me a sign,
Things between us will turn out fine...
And then i just lost interest.....one more coming soon...
Exhausted Me....
" 34 Posts, last published on Jul 21, 2007" thats what my dashboard tells me...what it doesnt say is that since Jul 30,2007 i have had only a single holiday and that too fortuitously....reaching the station and coming back home from there due to a lucky break is what made that holiday...
If i had had an inkling of the life that i was to have after reaching this point, would i have embarked on it ? would the Jul 29,2007 Nair have envisioned a life as hectic as this...although hectic doesnt do justice to the kind of life that i am leading now...leaving home at 7 am and reaching back at 12.30 in the night....hardly 7 hours spent at home in a day....rarely more than 5 hrs of sleep...would i have taken up this assignment if i'd known the hell it is now ???
i guess i would have....life's been too easy far too long, and its better to pay my dues earlier than later...life has a funny way of striking back you know..and in between its given me a lot of lucky breaks you know, this college being amongst the top 2-3 of them...and better to have my ass kicked left-right and center right now amongst my peers rather than in some big-shot place where they're paying me for the same stuff...
am bang in the middle of one of the more important "events" of the year...as i could call it..have got around 5 min free...its becoming more and more impossible for me to collect my thoughts and to think straight...despair gives way to helplessness, tiresdness seeps into the very core of my bones...i cant think..cant write...
and yet i persevere....why, i know not...the only thing i know is that i cannot fail again....not here, not now, not again...I Will Survive...
If i had had an inkling of the life that i was to have after reaching this point, would i have embarked on it ? would the Jul 29,2007 Nair have envisioned a life as hectic as this...although hectic doesnt do justice to the kind of life that i am leading now...leaving home at 7 am and reaching back at 12.30 in the night....hardly 7 hours spent at home in a day....rarely more than 5 hrs of sleep...would i have taken up this assignment if i'd known the hell it is now ???
i guess i would have....life's been too easy far too long, and its better to pay my dues earlier than later...life has a funny way of striking back you know..and in between its given me a lot of lucky breaks you know, this college being amongst the top 2-3 of them...and better to have my ass kicked left-right and center right now amongst my peers rather than in some big-shot place where they're paying me for the same stuff...
am bang in the middle of one of the more important "events" of the year...as i could call it..have got around 5 min free...its becoming more and more impossible for me to collect my thoughts and to think straight...despair gives way to helplessness, tiresdness seeps into the very core of my bones...i cant think..cant write...
and yet i persevere....why, i know not...the only thing i know is that i cannot fail again....not here, not now, not again...I Will Survive...
