I have an exam tomorrow..I havent done much.

Is this the way I'll be tested always ? Life's gonna suck if yes. Probably not much better if No.

Do I really give a damn ?

Hell No...

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Second of a Couple Incomplete...

Greatest of God's Creations,
Maker of Homes and Nations,
Embodiment of Grace, Love & Duty,
Woman, thy name is Duty.

From angels was thy inspiration drawn,
Not for you, displays of brawn,
Courage is thine weapon strong,
Before you can stand which wrong?

Silky, smooth flowing hair,
Darkest hair surrounding thy face so fair,
Those doe-like eyes so innocent,
In themselves, more powerful than a God's Trident.

Red, bloody-red fulsome lips,
Battles could be fought for just a kiss,
For a glimpse of that face, I could wait years,
Glistening on those pale cheeks,surely those aren' tears ?

And after this, i just couldnt go on..how do you describe a woman ? a more perfect creation rearely has God made...and i realized my "skills" are just too inadequate for describing a tenth part of them...when i see what i write, i feel like deleting it all..but then, im too much of a narcissist to do so..lol...

More Later..

One of a Couple Incomplete..

Skin so fair it'd leave you blind,
Timely hints leaving me in a bind,
Do I chase her or let her go,
When things are in such an even flow ?

The distance between us is of a million sighs,
Days could I spend in those clear grey eyes,
Long fingers, Nimble hands,
Who else has your carefree stance ?

Not your sole admirer am I,
For your attentions do many vie,
Give me a smile, just give me a sign,
Things between us will turn out fine...

And then i just lost interest.....one more coming soon...

Exhausted Me....

" 34 Posts, last published on Jul 21, 2007" thats what my dashboard tells me...what it doesnt say is that since Jul 30,2007 i have had only a single holiday and that too fortuitously....reaching the station and coming back home from there due to a lucky break is what made that holiday...

If i had had an inkling of the life that i was to have after reaching this point, would i have embarked on it ? would the Jul 29,2007 Nair have envisioned a life as hectic as this...although hectic doesnt do justice to the kind of life that i am leading now...leaving home at 7 am and reaching back at 12.30 in the night....hardly 7 hours spent at home in a day....rarely more than 5 hrs of sleep...would i have taken up this assignment if i'd known the hell it is now ???

i guess i would have....life's been too easy far too long, and its better to pay my dues earlier than later...life has a funny way of striking back you know..and in between its given me a lot of lucky breaks you know, this college being amongst the top 2-3 of them...and better to have my ass kicked left-right and center right now amongst my peers rather than in some big-shot place where they're paying me for the same stuff...

am bang in the middle of one of the more important "events" of the year...as i could call it..have got around 5 min free...its becoming more and more impossible for me to collect my thoughts and to think straight...despair gives way to helplessness, tiresdness seeps into the very core of my bones...i cant think..cant write...

and yet i persevere....why, i know not...the only thing i know is that i cannot fail again....not here, not now, not again...I Will Survive...


What do you do when you get mentally tired ?? when there is so
much inside of you that threatens to weigh u down so bad u never wanna
get up again ? u think it'll all be better if u just let it go...just
give in to it, stop fighting stop thinking...what do you do then ??
when you are so badly overwhelmed by events that u dont even have a
stomach anymore....its just an infinite void of swirling
masses...threatening to make you sick at the slightest movement..but
you know when its really time to step back and take a look...its when u
lok forward to the relief of having been sick n having let it all
out..what do you do then, really...what do you do ??

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Long time no blog...

I really should write more..it is one of the better ways in which
i express myself..and i do express myself well..then why dont i
write...laziness of course..but also the fact that most things dont
stimulate me to the extent that i have to go and put them down..when
they do i write..when they dont, i dont...simple..so is my wishing for
stuff to write, the feeling that i should write more, an expression of
me wanting to feel more stuff,more deeply ? or is this what happens
when someone gets rejected for a psychology course and joins
engineering ? do they end up psycho-analyzing themselves ? lol..more

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Yesterday was my last official day of college..the college gave us a
farewell which was pretty much similar to our freshers party...the
format hasnt changed..a lil music , chhole bhature, an evening filled
with promise,excitement, some sadness and a different kind of
expectation..will we ever see these faces again ?? will i meet this
man, this woman who was a young boy when i met him on the doorstep of
this college,when he first asked me where he could get his i-card
done...or when she first asked you whether the practicals are on for
the day..that person now stand before you,ready to take on the world ,
a little afraid but unbowed , ready to fly to an alien country with
nothing but himself or herself for support..ready to go out and work in
a field he or she knows nothing about but has to join because there is
no other option...i see a few who have already started working and
their desperate need to feel one with the crowd...to grab a last few
handfuls of this fun before it is taken away forever..all present
realize that it is the end of our gay lives,so to speak...from here it
becomes a struggle to keep that inner child of yours alive..till now
that was all that existed..and we put it all behind for an
evening..boys becoming men,girls blossoming to women..everything is
left behind..we're 16 again...and its for one whole evening....one
magical rainy evening....

in the midst of this maddening crowd..i stand alone..my face to the
skies..thanking my gods for the good news i've heard since morning..two
of the most important things in my life culminate successfully in a
single day..i couldnt ask for anything else...nothing more is needed..a
small prayer of thanks i send up and the raindrops smatter on my face
signaling the acceptance of the gods...i trace the path of a droplet
that falls on my forehead all the way to my nose..from there another
drop mingles with it...and another one on the forehead joins the
two..three have become one..but which one is the three ?? who
knows..will that how it will be...when i go out will i be engulfed in
the crowd or will i be distince unique...amongst the purified rain
drops will i be the poop excreted by a crow ?? that would be nice or
would it ?? i would be different, ugly but unique....the one thing that
does not fit in...or would i become one of the three or four or many
raindrope that kissed my face yesterday...the day that i let go....the
man who does not like getting wet danced for hours yesterday..letting
the rain wash away my sins..peeling my skin layer by layer...every drop
a blessing...i am born again..reborn revitalized rejuvenated...is it a
skill or is it a curse..or a blessing ??? to be in the midst of a
crowd..people who could be called friends..my brothers and sisters by
association...and yet feel so utterly alone and away...to see oneself
from a third persons point of view...to combine the one and the three
and so enjoy the feeling of being different...to be the one among the
many who is so at peace....to have your dreams fulfilled in a day..to
finally going to sleep content..knowing you have achieved
something...to finally enjoy something..is this what the ycall emotion

I guess i'll never know......

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sun comes up and since i only woke up at 12...i kinda missed it coming
up...life has pretty much lost any and all sense of sanity so it really
doesnt matter what time i wake up or sleep...its one heck of a busy
ride and i cant emphasise the words busy enough...sigh..

to drive,reading e-books,gymming can pretty much take a lot of time in
a day...and thats just discounting the time spent on the phone or the
net...oh yeah and havent forgotten the first 5 seasons of friends that
i got from a friend (not a very clever play on words,just bear with me)
so basically i have too much to do, most of it unproductive..

ur this guy...done with engineering...have a couple of months to
spare..what do ya do ?? drop me a line..will ya ppl..help me out !!!

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Is life meant to be governed by rules and ethics,
If thou hast a girlfriend, you shall not look at other chicks ??
Who draws a line between friendship and love,
A line as jagged as the flight of a dove ??

Who will define our boundaries,our limits,
Why should i even listen to these stupid gits ??
As long as my heart tells me it is true,
I care about as much as a horse's broken shoe.


which skies dost thou shine,
thy touch be intoxicating as wine....


Aapke zulfon mein kho gaye hum,
aapke itne kareeb aa gaye hum,
ab nahin humse aur saha jaata,
kya aapko yeh mehfil nahin bhaata ??


Agar sapnon mein na ho namumkin mumkin,
toh haqeeqat se kya ummeed rakhna,
aapne dikhakar tode sapne aise,
ke sharab se hua hamaara milna...


Shayad aap nahin chahti hum aapke itne kareeb aaye,
yeh ajnabi aapki aankhon mein kho jaaye,
jo raat guzar sakti thi baahon ke milne mein,
woh guzregi ab sharaab ke dikhaye sapnon mein....


Woh bhi kya sama hoti,
yaaron ki mehfil hoti,
hoti na yeh duuriyan tab,
faasle mit jaate yaadon mein jab.

Tripe !!

Questions being asked,
shadows arent masked,
if u thought they were,
you're dumb, i swear !!!


Babies need sleeping,
but first they need creating,
who shall do the honours,
we neednt cut corners !!!

ahem...guess what i came out to be on this test...this should be an indication for u ladies out there !!!


Just stumbled upon this great site, aptly named StumbleUpon, which well basically lets u stumble upon sites that you would normally never stumble upon...check it out..crazy way to spend ur time but most of the time it gives out interesting results to say the least....


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men may be called blind fools,
handy they are only with tools,
a womans heart they can never read,
holding hands,can they a child lead ?

laddy !!

hide-bound or mucle-clad,
he's just another wee lad,
dont wear ur heart on ur sleeve,
lest it leaks like a sieve.


if love leaves u blue,
its betrayal suffocates you,
welcome to humanity,
u're not the only one who feels shitty !!!


dont be so low,
we still hv miles to go,
who will fight the flow,
unless courage u show ??


my friend resigned,
doubts clouding the mind,
was the love ever true,
wasnt i among the chosen few ???


wanna freak,
down some creek,
worlds gone mad,
isnt that bad ?

Strictly Adult !!

ok now this post is a small jingle i composed myself.Although it is not as dirty as a jingle can get, it still is quite dirty and the last part is vaguely gross...ok fine,its just plain gross..so i have warned u right before u start reading this..well, u are gonna read it anyway so go right ahead !!!

ahem ahem...

ahem ahem again....

Here it goes..

Human beings obsessed with sex,
And condoms made of latex,
Two facts of a sexy mixture,
Make coupling a daily fixture.

Men enamoured by a 36 breast,
Imaginations arent meant to rest,
Women wearing dresses low-cut,
Are Bras meant to cover their butt ?

Those lucky with a sumptuous booty,
Shake it like its their duty,
Watching letchers get their highs,
"Baby, could i get between those thighs ?"

Even ladies have their fantasy,
Someday that a man will see,
It isnt an unsurmountable chasm,
Between foreplay and orgasm.

All men have a common fear,
Is it large enough my dear ?
With what i have been endowed,
Will I,on my girl,pleasure bestow ?

A good carpenter never blames his tool,
12 inches aint always cool,
Performance counts in the middle of the heat,
Do it right or you're limp meat..

Bodies wrapped up in constriction,
Fluids flowing to reduce the friction,
From the pleasure there is no respite,
Till an eruption of milky white.

Exhausted,sated,bodies all wet,
Till next time,just give it a rest,
And for those of you who thought this was porn,
How the fuck do you think you were born ???


Aisi judai ki aalam aayi,
saath mere na thi woh parchayi,
aisa kya maine gunah kar diya,
ki khuda ne mera yaar cheen liya ??

chaar line...

Ho jaye hum talli,
phir ghoomenge hum har galli,
hai rootha hua yeh sansar,
jab na mile dil ko uska pyaar.....

few lines....

but u have such a beautiful mind,
with the lord i have an axe to grind
how can u be so appealing
in your wake,leave others reeling ??

A few lines - four,to be exact....

Why pray are u putting ur dreams to sleep,
The winds will cry and the earth shall weep,
Dreams are to be followed to the world's end,
Its not that far,just round the bend....


I am giving up apologising to my non-existent readers about not writing enough. So this is not an apology.

My only reader, a classmate of mine, has given up any hopes of me writing this regularly ever.

So again i tell you, i will be regular..believe me at your own risk...

Guru - The Review

What a year 2006 was for a Hindi movie fan. RDB, Lage Raho, Kabul Express, Khosla Ka Ghosla, Pyar ke Side Effects, and my favorite by far, Omkara just to name a few. Mind you, these are movies that i loved, and not just commercial successes. And if u're an industry insider add KANK, Fanaa and a few others to the success list....After a dismal 2005, 2006 was a great treat for hindi movie buffs worldwide. And the first major release of 2007 has left me begging for more. GURU promised a great deal and boy did it deliver. A stellar performance by the lead actors, a great storyline, excellent visuals and a mind-blasting soundtrack raises the bar for the industry. I cant wait for the other releases of the year, Guru has set the standard. I can only hope the others will catch up, and i cant wait for the movie that will actually better it !!!

But down to the point. No plot spoilers here, since the entire plot has been dissected by the media anyway. Yes, apart from what u read in the papers, there is nothing else in the movie. One mans rise to fame, a cursory enmity, some roadblocks, happy ending. End of story. But the absolute mastery with which the story has been told is what raises this movie from the average one-man-on-a-mission to something far far better. That and Abhishek Bacchhan. ( How the hell do u spell Bachchan anyways ??? think about it )

The man has delivered a performance, that people will remember long after they've forgotten all about the movie. In what is one of the best compliments i can pay him , he reminded me of his father word-to word , action-to-action at least on 3 occasions in the movie and few can better that. He does not play Guru bhai, he becomes the man. And Mani Ratnam seems to have this unique way of getting out the best in him. Remember the power-packed performance in Yuva ? Hope to see much more of the mani ratnam- Jr B collaborations in the future. The man has a presence on the screen, never mind the drooping shoulders , the mis-shapen butt ( so my girlfriend tells me) or the occasional forced gesture where he forces himself too hard. If he could only deliver such a performance more often, he would be right up my list of favorite actors, just a shade below Mithunda. If not for anything else , go watch the movie just for him... Believe me, it'll be worth the money.

Aayyeee saala, Mithun in the movie is a blast. Right from the very first time when he appears on the screen ( and as a mithun-bhakt i am ashamed to say this but for the first 4.69 seconds i could not recognize him) he is the only one who even remotely comes close to Jr.B's tour-de-force...but dont listen to me, i'm very very biased towards him...so go watch the movie yourself...but seriously someone needs to give this man more roles befitting his status.. This though was a role built for him...a bengali socialist...and someone else gets the role ??? there'd have been effigies burnt in calcutta..My only complaint was that he should have been given a bigger role...Accha laga,Bahut accha laga.

A very pleasant surprise in the movie was Aishwarya Bachchachhhchan nee Rai.....She can act , by god can she act...( I know , even i thought she can only do it once in a gazillion movies , and tht was in HDDCS, but u know what people...she really does do well in the movie.) Except in the songs, where she dances like a scarecrow on stilts, shes given an exceptional performance ( by her standards that is). In fact, i feel one of the benchmark moments of the movie was when she and AB are swinging in the swing ( i know, my idioms suck)..and she tells him " Main moti nahin banoongi". What conviction!!!!

Madhavan and Vidya Balan's plot is nice..a nice breakaway from the monotony of watching Guru conquer all, but really they dont have much to do in this movie. The last few moments are expected , nothing to look forward to, but its handled really well.

I watch like 5 movies in a year, and only if i get exceptional reviews from all...And I am very very glad i took the time to watch this one.

P.S. : My girlfriend arrived 10 minutes late for the movie and hence no mention of Mallika in the review...can someone upload the song on youtube or google videos please ???

Working Environment & UnRelated Stuff.

Imagine this scenario : Professors keeping an eye out for who is going out with whom, rampant partiality, not a semblance of professionalism, the "good students" favored over the "troublemakers" over and over again, sly remarks about one's behaviour,peons behaving as if they own you, and complaints against them get you rules passed that actually favor them, teachers having no idea about the subject they teach and actually shooting down intelligent questions as a ploy to disturb the class. Ah, those good old school days right ?

Wrong, i am describing the scenario at a once-premier engineering college's biomedical department. This college, which once used to be counted amongst the city's best, is sadly deteriorting. Although the evidence of that appears everywhere, a sure sign can be found in the discontentment among the biomedd students. out of a strength of approximately 110, you would be hard-pressed to find even a couple who are satisfied. Actually, make that no one.

The main reasons, are as stated above. Though thats not the end of it all. Let me give you a more insightful view into our biomed department, which as u must have guessed by now,sucks.

Lets start off with our HOD, though we arent sure if she's holding that post. Qualification hassles, u see (wink,wink). I think something like professor-in-charge. The only one person our of a department of 6, who might actually know something about the subjects and she's never around. which is why i'm keepng this short. Come to college girl, and earn your pay.

Then the senior "professors".oops,my bad. they're lecturers,not professors u see.The big Q u know. with names signifying consorts of gods (2) , a super-built man, and one whos just gay (he got married though,life's little miracles), u just know u're in for a blast.

aahh...away frm all this depressing stuff (though more will follow),actually got in time to college to see only 7 ppl had turned up at 9 a.m. Has biomed actually changed for the better ? Nah, dont think so. But we live in a world of hope and i along with one of my classmates sure hope that we shall live to see the day when the current class attempts to mass bunk. Should be a real laugh riot that one.

But im in deepp shito with my project though. Not geting any ideas and if anyone wanna help me out, please. The things not going anywhere , and me n my group are seriously thinking abt a redo.

So,came home and banged on the tabla a little....am practising the thi-ra-ki-ta seriously nowadays ,so am kinda getting good at it. after that, went to see my dear girl and roamed around in IIT for some time. Honest to God, that place is built for lovers to walk about. But ironically,we never manage to see any IITians there ever.

More Later !!

P.S. : If I hear more abt Ash-Abhishek-Manglik crap, I shall puke.
So after yet another gap of a couple of months here I am...well CAT came and went..scored a pathetic 94 percentile..but thats alright..after the amount of "hard work" that i had put in, I guess it was well deserved..My luck had to run out sometime after getting a host of 99 percentiles in the SIMCATs........

College begins on Monday and I enter into my last semester of technical education. After this no more circuits hopefully in my life. I am sure of one thing now after my so-called "training period". There are people who are born to be engineers and I definitely am not one of them. I'll be kinda glad to leave this stuff behind. Guess it was never meant to be. Though I still got one more sem..Bring it on !!!!!!!!

After that, I really have no clue whatsoever wht i am going to do..well life will go on i suppose..though i better start preparing for it soon.

Although college isnt officially open, we go to college almost everyday now for the project work. Gotta submit the synopsis by tomorrow or there'll be a price to pay say the professors. Hope we can get it done by then. Since our group consists of 2 of the laziest bums in my class and 2 hard-working girls, its quite simple for anyone to deduce who will be doing most of the work.

Nothing much happening in life now...Actually,there is but not everything in one post yea ?? This time though I'm gonna post sooner...and why should i take myself seriously ??? Coz its the New Year !!!!!!!!